November

November is quite imminent. In just under 2 hours it will be here, somehow so much sooner than I expected. I have always liked November; I like the colorful leaves on the ground, I like the rain, I like the warm drinks, I like the big sweaters and I like that I get to wear a warm scarf and hat if I so wish. Heck, I even like that some people chose not to shave, those of you who know me know that I have never been apposed to a little scruff or even full on facial hair. 

Despite all this I have been dreading this November. Well the first 2 weeks of it at least. It seems that I am getting close to running on empty. I am bogged down with homework, pretty tuckered out and trying my hardest to avoid anyone who has even a hint of illness. (Don't take it personally; I like you, just not the sickness you carry). But I have made a schedule and if I stick to it, which I intend to do, I will make it through and by November 18th my load will be that much lighter.

You may be wondering why on earth I am bothering to tell you all this. Why do you care? Well, because I though that you, my avid reader, would like to know that I will probably not be writing to you anytime between now and then. Yes, I know you were probably hoping for something a little more inspirational, thought-provoking, or even just something amusing as a post. But it is as it is, a boring note about November. 

So for now I leave you to enjoy the November rain, the beauty of the trees, a nice cup of tea, a good book and maybe even some Norah Jones. And with the promise that my next post will be more exciting. 

Thankful

Thanksgiving weekend. Well, Canadian thanksgiving weekend anyway, one of the perks of being both an American and a Canadian is that I get to be thankful twice a year. So blessed, I know. This thanksgiving I am in Cedar by the Sea with my parents and younger sister. It’s the first time I’ve seen Cedar in the fall and it is beautiful. The leaves have just started changing color, the smell of wood fires is in the air and the deer walk gently through our yard. Thankfulness is not hard to come by in these parts. But one of the things I am most thankful for in our still new home is that it is so very close to the ocean.

Confession: this is not the beach by our house, but the picture was too good to pass up.

There is something incredible about the ocean; it has always been a place of thought and peacefulness to me. I have inherited this love of the beach from my mother, she loves the beach, always has. And though I didn’t grow up on Vancouver Island like she did, I still managed to visit the ocean quite a lot in my childhood. Living in Holland makes commutes to the ocean a bit easier than it would be for most. It wasn’t until last year that I realized just how important the ocean is to me.

Last year was a good year but it had its challenges, and at the point were I felt I just needed to get away from it all, I needed to go to a beach. This may sounds silly to you, why would I need to go to the beach? I’m afraid I cannot rationally answer this question, but there is something about the vastness and power of the crashing waves and the endless horizon that helps me clear my mind and bring me back to reality. To the realization that no matter what I may be dealing with, the world is so much bigger and whatever my issue is really isn’t a big deal. Thankfully my friend Catherine came to my rescue and drove me down to a secluded beach in Washington, it was perfect. A nice rainy day, the waves crashing on the rocks and it was exactly what I needed.

This summer I made a road trip to Calgary with a bunch of my friends. I had never driven through the Rockies in Canada before, somehow they seem a lot bigger than the Rockies in the states. And as we were driving through the middle of these giant mountains a strange feeling came over me, something I don’t think I’d ever felt before: claustrophobia. I felt so closed in, so small and not in a good way. I missed the vastness of the ocean. Don’t get me wrong; I love mountains. I like seeing them in the distance, I like the way the light hits them at sunset and I love hiking in them, but to be stuck in between them: not for me. Yes, I’m an ocean girl. I like the beach.

So what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving Day, besides the usual things such as family, friends, great education, food, and numerous other blessings, I am thankful to be near the ocean. To see how majestic my God is by looking out over the ocean, feeling the breeze on my face and the mist from the water, and of course I am thankful for the mountains in the background. 

Mother Teresa Lied.

One of Mother Teresa's most famous quotes is this:

"I know God won't give me more than I can handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much". 

And over the past couple weeks I have been learning that this is not true.

2 Corinthians 1:8-11 says this: "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many".

This goes to show that God does put us through trial sometimes and that sometimes He will give us more than we can handle just so that we come to realize once again that we need Him. We cannot do these things on our own. 

I also learnt something in my Education class the other day that has really got me thinking. My prof said something like; Jesus has saved us from the ultimate penalty of sin, which is death, but because we still live in a sinful world, while we are here on earth we are still held responsible for our actions and that God does punish us and discipline us for our sins. This may not be a new idea to most of you, but it was to me. I thought that since God had saved me I could basically do whatever and be forgiven for it, and while this is true it does not mean that there are no consequences for my actions. 

This really helped me to see God as a father figure and instill the fear of God in me. He doesn't want to have to punish us but as His children we still have much to learn and we have to be taught, sometimes through hard lessons. He is shaping us into who we ought to be, through the struggle and hardships He is stretching our faith and teaching us to be more like Him. 

This.

The Stories On Your Skin

"Children show scars like medals. Lovers use them as secrets to reveal. A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh."
~Leonard Cohen

We each live our lives and there are things that we can choose to keep from others. Experiences we may never share with the rest of the world. But sometimes life leaves it's imprint on you. A small reminder of a day or a time that changed you. Even if the change was only skin deep. I love hearing about those times.

Scars intrigue me. I love asking to hear the story behind a scar. Some stories are better than others, but it always gives you a little insight into where someone has been, the things they have done and what kind of person they are. It's the imperfections that make you beautiful. One of the things that separate you from the rest and make you uniquely you.

I have lots of scars, some that I vividly remember getting and others that I haven't got a clue about. Some fresh and some faded. Some remind me of good times, others remind me of things that I miss or of times that weren't so great. Still, I like each one. It's like having part of my history etched on my skin.

One thing I really appreciate about when Jesus came back to earth after His death was that He still had His scars. Those scars that remind me of what He did for me. How He saved me. I hope we all get to keep our scars in heaven, because like it or not, they tell a story about you. There are stories written on your skin.

New pens, paper, and pencils. New adventures, opportunities, and chances. Hello, September.
It's good to see you again. 

Welcome to the family

First off, let me apologize for my hiatus. I was pretty busy the past few weeks so I haven't had the time to blog, but I'm back now. Happy times.

I went to a family reunion down at Mt. Rainier a couple weeks ago. It was super fun and great to be able to spend time with them, especially because I hadn't seen most of my dad's side of the family in years. That may seem crazy to some of you, but for me that's quite common. You see, growing up in Amsterdam, we didn't often have the funds to fly across the Atlantic to visit family. I've only seen them every so many years. And yet, there's a connection. You jump right back in, there's a familiarity to it. I like that.

This past week was my sister's wedding. She looked gorgeous on the day, had a beautiful ceremony and at the end of the day I had an incredible new brother-in-law. The day started with his family and her family, and by the end of the day it was one big happy family. There's no familiarity yet, but over the years, at the family gatherings, it will happen.

My eldest sister is pregnant with what will be my first niece or nephew, and I could not be happier. Although I realize that she lives in Amsterdam and so her baby will probably see me about as often as I saw my aunts and uncles growing up. But that's okay. We're family, and no matter what, that kid is going to be loved by each and every one of us. There's no doubt about that.

Sometimes it's hard for me to think about those who don't have a complete family unit, or who have no family at all. I pray for those people that they would find a way to their Heavenly Father and join the big family, the many brothers and sisters in Christ. Because although you may not know them, or see them often, you are always welcome, you can always jump back in and find the familiarity, and you will always find love.