Steve.

From an early age I was made aware of Murphy’s Law: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong”. And while it is always a bit frustrating when Murphy’s Law does rear its ugly head in life, I have learned to simply smile politely and see it as one of life’s little pranks. However, lately I have been experiencing Murphy’s Law more frequently than I would hope and the reason for this is simple: Steve.

Steve is my 1994 Volkswagen Golf. Das auto ist mein auto.

It was a warm and sunny afternoon in late August when Steve came into my life. After having replied to a craigslist posting and having gone for a test drive it was finally time for me to sign the papers and be a first-time car owner (I would be co-signing with my younger sister, God bless her for chipping in). And it was this very day that Steve would bring about Murphy’s Law for the first time.

Before signing the papers it turned out that Steve’s air-care had expired, which was a deal breaker. My dad and the previous owner quickly took the car to get tested: it failed. Not wanting to go back on my word to purchase the car, I gave the owner the rest of the day to sort out any issues and get Steve air-cared, at which point my sister and I would gladly sign the papers. After another two attempts Steve finally passed air-care and we drove him home that afternoon.

It was not long before a new problem made itself known. Steve was a heavy drinker of coolant. And by heavy I mean that he went through a jug of coolant that proudly boasted to last up to 5 years, in no more than two weeks. Time to visit the mechanic. I decided to get a full check up and at the end of the day I was given a 4-page print out of things that were wrong with Steve. I got the most desperate problems fixed and felt confident that Steve would be fine for at least the rest of the year. Then winter came...

The first time it froze overnight I was unable to unlock the doors the next morning. Luckily this problem was quickly solved with some hot water. The bigger issue was that Steve had decided to start honking whenever he felt so inclined. At start up Steve would gladly greet me with several short honks. When rounding corners Steve would greet the passersby on the street with a little beep. Sometimes little honks were not enough and Steve would sound his horn long and clear for all to hear.

Another issue that appeared with the winter-rains was that Steve retains water. We first noticed a small puddle on the floor by the backseat but thought little of it. However, as it has rained more and more the puddle has become more like a small lake. While driving, the water sloshes around making sounds similar to that of a rain-stick. The sound is equal parts soothing and disconcerting.

This past week I was driving along a quiet country road and had just pulled up to a stop sign when Steve had a slight tantrum. He flashed his warning lights at me and started honking continuously. I put him into park, put on the emergency break, turned all the lights off, shut off the ignition and pulled the keys out. Steve continued honking. What makes this even more miraculous is that the fuse for the horn had been taken out several weeks earlier. There I sat, perplexed and aghast. After various attempts to stop the honking I got out and locked the doors. Finally the honking subsided. I can only assume that, for reasons unknown, Steve had decided to sound his alarm in the middle of our nice drive.

My parents warned me about getting a car. They told me that it would cost a lot of money (which it does) and take a lot of upkeep (which it certainly does). But despite my overexcited little car and his crazy antics, I do enjoy having a car. There has been many a time when Steve is in a good mood as we cruise along the highway, gently humming along to the radio. Steve has also taught me a lot about cars and their inner workings. But most of all, Steve has brought me lots of laughs, maybe not always in the moment but certainly in retelling the tales.

Murphy’s Law says that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. I do not know how much more time I have with Steve, but in the time we have spent together Steve has helped me to see that when things go wrong, the best thing to do is accept it, laugh about it, and move on.